hug abuse

 

If I don't show up for work on Monday, it's probably because my cat killed me in my sleep. #revenge

texts with my brother

Chuck: New Haircut. I look like a jerk.

Me: You look like Ronaldo missing his PK last night. Not good.

Chuck: Never ask me how you look.

Me: You're the one who said you look like a jerk. And I compared you to Ronaldo.

Chuck: You're not supposed to rub it in.
             But at least he looks good
             Right? Like, a handsome jerk?

Me: Right, you know he's a jerk, but he might be the best looking jerk in Europe.

Cristiano Ronaldo (missing his penalty kick v. Munich)

Call Me Ishmalia

The files in my office go back decades, so there is an absolute treasure trove of old, wonderful, beautifully unique names that I come across from time to time.  I wrote some down last week that I found especially delightful and/or interesting (and I put a <3 next to my favorites) :

Effie Effie was #63 in 1880
Lenora
Murvin
Gwenice
Delbert
Cletus
Myrtle
Arlie <3
Fern
Freya
Harlan <3
Annette
Emery
Jerome
Elva another popular turn of the century name
Marzella peaked in 1881
Wilma
Maro
Myrtis
Eldon <3
Rhoda <3
Lida
Winfield  <3 an especially good Kansas name!
Monte that pink isn't a mistake!
Neva in the top 500 until the 1940's
Elnora
Lorel
Johnita misspelled Juanita? I also found a Waunita!
Etta
Atha hasn't even been in the top #1000 since 1908
Dagmar a guy in our file, but in the last 100 years it's been more commonly a female name
Ila <3 peaked at #250 in 1911
Ione <3

Info from www.ssa.gov

Ruby days

Tonight all of East Lawrence smelled like lilacs.

68 degrees is the perfect temperature for an 8 o'clock walk with the dog, and the 8 o'clock light is the perfect light to see and not be seen.

Every time we walk a route we've gone even a hundred times before, I find a new front porch I've never noticed. Like the streets are shuffling around the houses and yards so when I walk by I feel like I'm in a new place. Maybe they jump back to normal when I've passed so when the people in them walk out, they don't suddenly have new neighbors and can't find their cars. It's like the world is changing and staying the same at the same time.

I know it is, of course, but that doesn't make the feeling any less magical.

What They Didn't Teach You In Art Class

I got an Easter basket of sorts last week from my mom's best friend with things like Butter London nail polish and fancy NARS lipstick. I've never worn Butter London before because it's rather pricy for a nail polish (or cosmetic in general, for that matter) but holy smokes - the quality is absurdly fantastic. I judge a nail polish by how easy it is to get off as well as its staying power (that's what she said?), and this stuff came off really easily. Anyway, I had this purply color on my nails this week and while I love the hue, I hated it at the same time because I couldn't figure out what it reminded me of! Grape Laffy Taffy? Lilacs?  I wish I could just say "purple" or "violet" or "grape", but no, it's probably called "Iris Mahogany Ambition" or "Knock-knock who's there? It's me, Dark Lavendar!" So I came up with a genius idea:

Crayola crayon colored nail polish.

*Google*

Well, crap.

________________________________________________________________________

Actually, on second thought, those suck. Scented nail polish? I haven't been interested in scented nail polish since 1997. The scent was Sunflower. I think I still have it. I bought it at a store called Vanity. I remember lots of really specific details about 5th grade, apparently. And I don't throw anything away. Also, sunflowers don't really have a scent, so... 

64 Colors

But seriously - how awesome would it be to have Midnight Blue nail polish? Or just straight up Red or Yellow-Green, or Thistle or Goldenrod? But hold the phone - there are way more colors now than when I was coloring outside the lines. Did you know? You can learn lots of interesting history about our country and its relationship with color:

- "Flesh" was renamed "Peach" in 1962

- "Prussian Blue" was renamed "Midnight Blue" in 1958

- "Indian Red" was renamed "Chestnut" in 1999  (Seriously? 1999? Way to be culturally insensitive for a really long time, Crayola.)

 

They also got rid of the name "Torch Red" at some point. Maybe arson wasn't funny anymore or something? Anyway, I found all of this incredibly interesting and I want to go see if I can my childhood art stuff. (My mother also never gets rid of anything, even though she pretends to.) So if OPI or Essie suddenly comes out with colors like Fuchsia and Cornflower and Indigo and you have a flashback to fighting over the non-broken crayons in 2nd grade, tell them I came up with the idea first!

Easter

 Easter is one of the few holidays out of the year for which I get pretty excited. The other ones are

Flag Day ~ June 14th

Kansas Day ~ January 29th

Fourth of July

My birthday

Apparently I'm super patriotic.

I personally can't figure out why we have to celebrate so many holidays in the middle of winter. Christmas, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day (well, this year it was 80 degrees. Holla, climate change!), Thanksgiving...I like to imagine what Christmas would be like if it were usually 70 degrees instead of 7, and what I imagine is awesome. It'd basically be like Independence Day, but bunting would be red and green instead of red, white, and blue. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph weren't in 2 feet of snow, so why should we be? I suppose I could move to California, but....no.

{via Oh, Joy!}

 Anyway, I love Easter. For most of my life we've spent the day with close family friends. Their son and I met in a pre-preschool playgroup when we spent the day painting a cardbord box purple, and the rest is history. 20+ years later we've moved beyond egg hunts, but the day is still spent together, only now we drink lots of champagne and eat lots of amazing cheese and chocolate. And salmon. Did I mention cheese? 

{Martha Stewart}

One of my jobs through college was singing in the Episcopal Cathedral Choir in Topeka, KS. The Easter hymns are some of my all-time favorites. Alleluia, alleluia, give thanks to the ris'n Lord/alleluia, alleluia, give thanks to His name! In 2008 I was in Paris and I went by myself to the American Cathedral. Communion was port instead of wine! Since there's a cathedral in Kansas, there was a Kansas flag hung in the church. It was like going home, except for all the French sermon-ing. My throat was raspy from not singing for months, but my voice came back toute suite. Two French men in the pew in front of me even turned around and told me how glad they were that I was sitting behind them!  I might have even sung the descants. Afterward my friends and I  went to Angelina's by the Louvre and drank pitchers (literally) of hot chocolate. I doubt I will ever experience anything so decadent again in my life.  Church to me is about the music and people in it. I admit, I don't really think someone rose from the dead and all of a sudden all my "sins" are forgiven, but that's just me. I love how Easter isn't as much about presents as Christmas is and that the music doesn't get overplayed on the radio. Easter is also maybe one of the most kid-friendly holidays, and I can't wait to share it with mine. They can have all the chocolate they want.